I can not begin to tell you how many emails, letters, and voicemails I recieve from military spouses (both male and female) who are frustrated with their local and online military spouse networks.

Most recently, I received an email from an active duty Army spouse who resides with her soldier at an Army base in Georgia.   After arriving to the base, Melody decided to join a local group of spouses for their monthly luncheon.  In her email, she states feeling a bit awkward because the group was primarily made up of one nationality.  She is bi-racial and was used to being a part of multi-cultural groups.  She goes on to state that she felt alone, out of place, and in unfamiliar territory.

Another correspondence from a male spouse goes on to state that he is an attorney and his wife is an active duty officer on assignment in Norfolk, VA.   Since arriving to the base he has been unable to find other male spouses to connect with.  At a recent meeting, during the round table discussion, he stood up to express some of his concerns, hoping to gain support and input, he left the meeting feeling like his concerns were unimportant.

Carly, a nineteen year old spouse who came to the states from Japan where she met and married her young Navy soldier, was invited by another spouse to join an online spouses network.   Excited, she signed up for membership, received her approval, and on the first sign-on, she states she was extremely disappointed because the first couple of posts were from disgruntled spouses who were gossiping about another spouse, who was a member of a different online group. Disappointed, she closed her account.

While there is some truth to the old cliché, one bad apple spoils the whole bunch, I venture to say that in the military spouse community as with any community, there are good and bad networks.  Having served in the military and on the homefront as a military wife for over 20 years, I tend to see things from a different angle.  I too have encountered my own share of good and not so good experiences during our tenure on active duty, but I never allowed the actions of others to influence negatively on my decisions.

The lessons I learned from those experiences (both good and bad) empowered me to create positive outcomes:

• Built friendships that still flourish to this day
• Launched a virtual business which evolved into an online portable careers training initiative, which was adopted by the Department of Defense
• Volunteered as a business mentor to other military spouse entrepreneurs
• Established an online talk radio show for all military spouses

Military Spouse Networks have been around for centuries and are created to provide support, establish friendships, share information, and resources.

Today’s military is quite different on many fronts; the population of male military spouses is on a steady rise.   The military branches recognize this and are working to create programs and support systems to address the need.   From my own personal experience, military leaders welcome suggestions and input from the military spouse community.

In my online course, Starting a Virtual Business 101,  a great deal of time is spent teaching students about the importance of research.   I encourage military spouses who read this post to do their research before joining any military spouse organization or network.

The experiences shared at the beginning of this post are not representative of all military spouse networks. Take the time to learn about the leadership, the mission of the network, their goals, objectives and vision.  How long has the group/network been established?   What are some of their accomplishments?  And, most important, is the network involved in projects or events that you are passionate about?

Joining a network for the sake of affiliation, is fine, if you are only seeking to belong.  However, if you are looking for military spouse networks with substance (advocacy, impartial, family-friendly, support-focused), then research is key.

Share some of your favorite networks in the comments section below.

Some of my favorite Networks include:

Military Spouse Corporate Career Network

Military Spouses Career Network

Military One Source

Armed Forces Crossroads

Military.com

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